what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
