new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize