So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
