Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize
