I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
