As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
You pole danced in your parka.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
