He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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