I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Randomize
