ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
