i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Randomize
