11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize