I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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