Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Still dying that you shit outside
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize