That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
