my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
