Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
