She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
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