It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Randomize
