Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Randomize
