My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
that's an acceptable place to lick
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
