Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize