I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize
