There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize