just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize