just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
