I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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