i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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