she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
