If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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