i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
