So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
