She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
