I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
