I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Randomize
