I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
