Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Randomize
