Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Randomize
