he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
