yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Randomize
