you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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