Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
