I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Randomize
