found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
