You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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