i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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