miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Randomize
