I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
now i know why i became what i already was.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
