My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Randomize
