TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
