I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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