I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize
