he puts the penis in happiness.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
