In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize
