It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize