I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Randomize
