Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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