He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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