quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
4 words: hood of his car
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Randomize
