i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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