is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
