it wasn't lemon gatorade
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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