You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Hippo gnu deer
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Randomize
