When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
